I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
The beers last night were like the tears from god
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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