never play flip cup with pint glasses
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
Randomize
