So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
Randomize
