I was in the bathroom and her cat just looked at my penis with a profound hatred.
just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
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