Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
Randomize