He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
I just ate a cockroach and I want to be a fire truck.
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
Randomize
