don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
The streets are paved with hand jobs
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