kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
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