i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
My vagina is very pro this idea
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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