So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
Randomize
