Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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