Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
