I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
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