he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
i drank out of a bidet.
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
Randomize
