I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
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