so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
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