his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
Randomize
