is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
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