dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
Randomize
