Three words: puerto rican gang bang
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
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