There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
Randomize
