she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
I feel like people expect me to always be a sarcastic, shade throwing drunk. And you know me, I hate to disappoint.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
Randomize
