i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Randomize
