Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
Randomize
