haha omg you stole $185 from a passed out drunk indian on your porch and called the ambulance??
savin' lives aint cheap
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
Randomize
