Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Randomize
