Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
so explain again why im purple
no
Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
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