soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Randomize
