so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
Randomize
