hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
Randomize
