what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
Dude, I just spun my iPhone on my boner without it falling off. I belong in cirque du soleil.
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
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