is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
This is classic penis vs brain.
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
