Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
I woke up to three texts telling me to "go fuck myself," a panicked voicemail from my mom, and a girl thanking me... I'm not sure which I should take care of first
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize
