Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
Randomize