Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize
