there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
Randomize
