her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
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