woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
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