i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
Randomize
