She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
