This is the prime rib incident all over again
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
