Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Randomize
