i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
He literally asked permission to hit on me
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Randomize
