well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
Randomize
