Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
Oh. Im drinking alone in a banana costume. Every time youre feeling down, i want you to think of me right now and know that your life is better than mine.
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
Randomize
