I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
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