Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
Randomize
