I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
