Please don't use social media to get back at me.
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
Randomize
