I woke up wearing no shirt sleeping next to a half-eaten grilled cheese.
Well did you call the grilled cheese yet? Or r u waiting the usual 3 days?
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Randomize
