i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
I have tasted many bathrooms
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
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