somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
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