I think i ate a live goldfish last night. that i caught with my hand in a kiddie pool. my stomach really hurts.
I hope mine doesn't look like that
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
Randomize
