You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
Randomize
