no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
I would fuck him just for his dog
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
Randomize
