I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
Randomize
