butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
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