Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
Randomize
