Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
Randomize
