talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
Randomize
