i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
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